Popular Carlos Solis Quotes
Carlos: You know who you are, Gabby? You're the kind of person who would've turned away Mary and Joseph from the Inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should've called ahead.
Gabrielle: Don't be so suicidal, we can always adopt.
Carlos: I wanted to have a child of our own, you know that.
Gabrielle: What does it matter whose DNA it is, the diapers are still going to smell the same regardless.
Carlos: There was a lot of stuff that Gabby went through when she was younger. A lot of stuff that you don't know about. And I think that if you went to her and asked her about it, then the two of you could finally get passed it.
Lucia: What stuff are you talking about, Carlos?
Carlos (deep breath): Your second husband Alejandro. When Gabby was 15 he assaulted her; sexually.
Lucia: Is that what she told you?
Carlos: Look, I know it comes as a shock for you to be hearing it from me.
Lucia:Carlos, please, I am aware they had sex. But it was Gabrielle who seduced him. Carlos: Excuse me?
Lucia: She was always jealous of me. You don't know how many times I caught her wearing my shoes, trying on my jewelery. And I'd scream at her to leave my things alone, but no, she wanted whatever I had. Then one night she set her sights on Alejandro. Believe me, no one got raped.
Carlos: Lucia, she was only 15!
Lucia: You know, a lot of men have left me over the years, and I never knew the reason, but when Alejandro left, I knew exactly why it happened. Gabrielle made him fall in love with her. Took me so many years to forgive her.
Gabrielle: So just to be clear, some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local gas 'n gulp, and she is going to make sure we're quality people?
Carlos: You don't need to answer that.
Carlos: Ah, this is a sign...
Gabrielle: Will you shut up?
Carlos: We lost the baby, found out we couldn't conceive another one, and ran into Helen Rowland at an adoption agency - God is obviously trying to tell us something.
Gabrielle: Carlos, we're Catholics, okay? God is pretty johnny-one-note on the whole subject of procreation!
Carlos: Gaby, these pictures have to be wholesome. They gotta say, "These people will do a great job raising a child."
Gabrielle: So?
Carlos: So you're topless!
Gabrielle: Yeah, but it's St. Bart's, and your hands are covering my naughty bits.
Carlos: You mean the hand that's holding the tequila shot, or the hand that's holding the Cuban cigar?
Gabrielle: Yeah, that was a great trip.
Carlos: Helen! You work here!
Roda (adoption lady): You all know each other? What a small world!
Helen It sure is. Mrs. Solis hired my son to do her yard work, and also she would rape him.
Gabrielle: So... We're audtioning to be parents?
Adoption Agency Lady: You can say that...
Gabrielle: So just to be clear... Some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local gas'n'gulp and SHE is gonna make sure we're quality people?
Carlos: You don't have to answer that...
Carlos: This is the first time I ever thought you wanted to have a baby.
Gabrielle: Well, this is the first time anyone said I couldn't have one.
Gabrielle: No. No, no, no. I want that woman's baby, and I'm gonna get it!
Carlos: And just how are you gonna go about doing that?
Gabrielle: Well, first of all, I'm gonna show her one of our tax returns. Once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're gonna look a whole lot whiter!
Gabrielle: Okay, look, we have to find another mother.
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Okay, this isn't easy to say, so I'm just going to say it, but have you taken a good look at her?
Carlos: Oh my god, are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby because she's plain?
Gabrielle: No! Plain I can handle - Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house the clocks have stopped working!
Carlos: No one can predict what a child is going to look like. For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
Gabrielle: With her DNA? The only thing that kid's going to be winning is best in show.
Carlos: At the Donahue party everyone was talking mutual funds, and you found a way to mention you slept with half of the Yankee outfield.
Gabrielle: I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation
