Favorite Christopher Hayden Quotes
Lorelai: My father almost hit someone. My father has probably only hit another man in college, wearing boxing gloves and one of those Fred Mertz golden gloves pullover sweaters.
Christopher: Fred Mertz?
Lorelai: I Love Lucy - Fred Mertz.
Christopher: Landlord to Ricki, husband to Ethel, I know. It's just a weird reference.
Lorelai: (pointing at the pajamas, she's wearing) Hello, pajamas.
Christopher: And you brought up Bush because...
Lorelai: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Christopher: You're at your bachelorette party.
Lorelai: Right...right.
Christopher: So why are you calling me?
Christopher: May I have this dance?
Lorelai: I don't know. Do you have a trust fund? Always make sure.
I'm going to need a picture of this Jess so I don't accidentally rip off the head of the wrong kid, because that would be bad.
Christopher: Nice shirt. Take it off.
Lorelai and Rory turn around staring at the guy on the motorcycle
(Christopher takes off his helmet)
Lorelai: Christopher.
Rory: Dad!
Young Christopher: (in flashback, about baby Rory) She's pretty.
Young Lorelai: She's perfect.
Young Christopher: I guess this means we have to get married now.
Christopher: I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.
Lorelai: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.
Christopher: I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that!
Lorelai: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy, and ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. Then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it. "Rat me out". What are you, 16?
Christopher: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me, anyway?
Christopher: She's my daughter, too.
Lorelai: More like your playmate!
Rory: How's Diane?
Christopher: Diane is ancient history.
Rory: When I met her at Easter, you said she could be the one.
Christopher: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.
Rory: You're worse than Mom.
Lorelai: Low blow!
Christopher: Can't keep a feller happy?
Lorelai: Oh, I keep them happy. I keep them very happy.
Rory: Okay, now, don't get gross.
Straub: Tell me, Lorelai. What have you been doing with your life anyway, besides hating successful businessmen? I'm just curious.
Emily: Why don't we all go into the dining room?
Lorelai: Well, um, Straub, I run an inn near Stars Hollow.
Straub: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, really.
Christopher: Dad, come on.
Straub: Nice to see you found your calling.
Emily: Dinner's ready.
Francine: Christopher, your tie.
Christopher: Mom, please.
Straub: (to Lorelai) And is your life everything you hoped it would be?
Lorelai: Yes, it is.
Straub: Because it seems to me that you might not want to take such a haughty tone when you announce to the world that you work in a hotel.
Rory: (about Christopher's parents) These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them. What do I call them?
Christopher: Call them what I call them. Ass--
Lorelai: Chris!
Christopher: Sorry, my tie's too tight.....
Lorelai: Just call them Straub and Francine. Nah, just call them Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. Sir and ma'am? (pauses) Why don't you just avoid calling them anything?
