Christopher Hayden Quotes
Straub: Tell me, Lorelai. What have you been doing with your life anyway, besides hating successful businessmen? I'm just curious.
Emily: Why don't we all go into the dining room?
Lorelai: Well, um, Straub, I run an inn near Stars Hollow.
Straub: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, really.
Christopher: Dad, come on.
Straub: Nice to see you found your calling.
Emily: Dinner's ready.
Francine: Christopher, your tie.
Christopher: Mom, please.
Straub: (to Lorelai) And is your life everything you hoped it would be?
Lorelai: Yes, it is.
Straub: Because it seems to me that you might not want to take such a haughty tone when you announce to the world that you work in a hotel.
Rory: (about Christopher's parents) These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them. What do I call them?
Christopher: Call them what I call them. Ass--
Lorelai: Chris!
Christopher: Sorry, my tie's too tight.....
Lorelai: Just call them Straub and Francine. Nah, just call them Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. Sir and ma'am? (pauses) Why don't you just avoid calling them anything?
Christopher: (about Rory's boyfriend) She has a Dean?
Lorelai: She has a Dean.
Christopher: How did this happen?
Lorelai: Well, long ago, a single-celled organism crawled out of the primordial ooze, and that pretty much led to Dean.
Christopher: I think I need a beer.
Rory: I'm gonna go study before the food gets here.
Christopher: What? Tomorrow's Saturday!
Rory: I know, but I like to get all my weekend homework done and out of the way by Saturday so I can do extra credit stuff on Sunday. (leaves)
Lorelai: (to Christopher) Don't look at me.
Christopher: She's a great kid, Lor. I wish I could say I saw more of myself in her, other than the fact that we have similar left earlobes, but she's all you. Chip off the old perfect block.
Lorelai: Why the hell are you here?
Christopher: Behold the queen of the sudden transition!
Rory: So where did you guys go?
Lorelai: Nowhere.
Rory: Where's nowhere?
Christopher: Where we were.
Lorelai: I hate President Bush.
Strobe: What?!
Emily: Lorelai!
Christopher: Oh boy
Lorelai: He's stupid!
Lorelai: (sigh) I've gotta see my parents.
Christopher: (sigh) I've gotta see my parents.
Rory: Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut.
Christopher: (on phone with Emily) Well, I'm actually sitting here with your girls. (hands the phone to Lorelai) She wants to speak to you.
Lorelai: Mm. Hi Mom.
Emily: Lorelai, Christopher's in town!
Lorelai: (gasps) What?! I didn't know! Although, coincidently I'm sitting across from an amazing Christopher hologram.
Rory: How's Diane?
Christopher: Diane is ancient history.
Rory: When I met her at Easter, you said she could be the one.
Christopher: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.
Rory: You're worse than Mom.
Lorelai: Low blow!
Christopher: Can't keep a feller happy?
Lorelai: Oh, I keep them happy. I keep them very happy.
Rory: Okay, now, don't get gross.
Christopher: I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.
Lorelai: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.
Christopher: I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that!
Lorelai: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy, and ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. Then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it. "Rat me out". What are you, 16?
Christopher: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me, anyway?
Christopher: She's my daughter, too.
Lorelai: More like your playmate!
Christopher: Nice shirt. Take it off.
Lorelai and Rory turn around staring at the guy on the motorcycle
(Christopher takes off his helmet)
Lorelai: Christopher.
Rory: Dad!
