Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXCyril Figgis Quotes
Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!
Cyril: You could pose him with Woodhouse
Krieger: God knows he's a little GILF.
Cyril: He can't come in without a warrant - well, unless you invite him in.
Archer: He's not a vampire, idiot. Plus it's daytim
Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.
Cyril: I only have two eyes and they were looking for hunters.
Lana: Why, is it pumpkin season?
Cyril: Is that a thing?
Ray: To reiterate, I am paralyzed!
Cyril: Well, join a support group.
Malory: For who? Crippled gay hillbilly spies? There's a niche.
Archer: Did you just say Gay G B?
Cyril: Aww...do you think it's the mustache?
Ray: It's not helping.
Ray: Ooh! Here's an idea. Why don't you just saw your God damned head off?
Cyril: Geez. What's up your butt?
Ray: Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh, or maybe there is. I wouldn't know because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's Archer's fault!
Krieger: Uh, gettin' some mileage out of that, huh?
It's like a vagina with a zipper.
Cyril: Every single time we come here we have to help you get rid of a dead body.
Malory: Well you've only been here twice.
Cyril: And I thought, what would Lana do?
Archer: Not Archer?
Cyril: No, I had to outsmart them.
Cyril: I was jacking it on the telephone.
Archer: Does Internet porn know you were cheating on it?
