Dean: What's our mission?
Dr. Venture: Your mission is to have the best damn home-school prom 500$ can buy!

Dean: I think we just graduated
Hank: We did? Does that mean we can finally ditch these nerd pods and get bunk beds?

Hatred: There just wasn't anymore they could have done.
Dean: They could have tried.
Hatred: I know, but he didn't have any insurance and they wouldn't accept my diner's club card.

Dean: Can I pet your pussy?
Triana: There's no irony in that, is there?

Hank: What's with the suit?
Dean: Is it illegal to look good?
Hank: In this house is kind of is.

Dean: Well, if I was your dad, and you were your mom, and the you that wasn't your mom was another girl, I would never let anyone take the you-mom.
Triana: That would be really sweet... if it wasn't so confusing.

Dr. Venture: Dean, I remember when the Action Man would wake me up with a gun pointed at my head. He'd just hold it there and pull the trigger. I'd hear the click really loud because it was right against my forehead.
Dean: So it echoes.
Dr. Venture: Right, it sounded like he snapped one of my teeth out. Click. And then he'd go "Not today, Rusty, not today."
Dean: Golly. And you took it because you had to?
Dr. Venture: No, Dean, I took it because I was Rusty Venture, Boy Adventurer. I didn't ask for this life, Dean. But it's mine. Sure, I fall down in this speedsuit. But I get up and wet-nap my puke off.
Dean: Do you have one?
Dr. Venture: I got a pocket full of those lemony little devils.It all comes with that outfit, Dean. It's not all bad. I mean, I am a super-scientist. Loved. Feared. Well, I have a lawn full of bad guys who want my... what do they want?

Henchman 21: You have been subjected to the dreaded Chinese Water Torture for easily half an hour. You have lost your grip on reality.
Dean: We're delirious? So, this is a dream, and we're not really..
Henchman 21: Oh, no, you're actually here. But if I'm half monster, and like half goat and half hor... okay, that's stupid. Okay, if my bottom half is a horse, and on top I'm Sin-Eater.
Dean: Who's Sin-Eater?
Henchman 21: Or Wolverine with bat wings.
Hank: Dude, you're that henchman guy.
Henchman 21: With bat wings?
Hank: No, that is mental! You're regular.

Dean: All right, fine. But in the future, could you warn us before you do that?
Sgt. Hatred: In the future, the lazy Eloi will be living above ground. But underground, there will be cave monsters that use the above ground people for food. Dean, they eat them.
Dean: Now I know what happened to my copy of The Time Machine.
Hank: See, I didn't take it! I expect an apology. And also, I want a dollar. Emotional damage.

Dean: I have been practicing my career in science, look at these
Dr. Venture: Shrinky Dinks don't count, Dean, I'm not even gonna ask why you sleep with those things
Dean: Because I can't find Mr. Reach

Dean: You're the...
Dr. Venture: Dean, we need to talk.
Dean: There is no Hair Fairy, is there?
Dr. Venture: Not even close

Hank: Maternity. You weren't kidding, Deano. Pop really is having a baby!
Dean: I think I need a cigarette

Venture Bros. Quotes

Hank: You are not the boss of me
Sgt Hatred: Au contraire, I am tony danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you

Hank: Is it just me or does every Nazi want to clone Hitler? It's like the only they think about
Srgt. Hatred: It seems that way, right. I guess when everyone hates you, you just fixate on making rotten Hitlers