NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard Quotes
Jimmy: Wait, wait, I was delirious?
Ducky: Incoherent! You called me ‘Ducky’!
If you listen, the dead *will* speak.
Robbery is his work, murder is his pleasure.
Jimmy: Can people really talk to the dead?
Ducky: You’re seriously asking me? The real question is--
Gibbs: Can they talk back?
Jimmy: And the answer is--
Gibbs: No!
Kasie, put on a lab coat, scrub up, and then by all means continue this suddenly *excruciating* conversation while you work *together*, but out of my purview.
Bishop: So much junk, so little time.
Ducky: Junk, my dear Ellie, is in the eye of the beholder!
Gibbs: There's no right way to be his son.
Ducky: Just as there is no right way for you to act as his father. The pain of watching a parent age is unlike any other. I vividly remember the first time my mother needed help brushing her hair.
Gibbs: It's backwards.
Ducky: It certainly feels like that. But in the end, well, it's simply life.
Gibbs: Duck, I have to be careful how I handle this, for Carrie's sake. She could get disbarred.
Ducky: I know you, Jethro. It sounds as if she's doing the right thing, as you are.
Ducky: I don't understand why people run.
Palmer: Well it's therapeutic. It has great cardio-vascular benefits. What's more, it gets the old endorphins pumping. I tell you, running gives me a great high.
Ducky: I was referring to the driver running from the scene of the accident, Mr. Palmer.
Takumi Rin [on his affair with Ducky's mother]: We became an item in the '90s. But Bubbles made me swear to never, ever say anything to Donnie!
Ducky [baffled]: "Bubbles"?
Gibbs: What do you think, Duck?
Ducky: It was not that texting driver that killed the ensign, but that damned fool should be stripped of both his phone and his car.
Gibbs: The VA's got a lot of programs for vets, Doc. I wonder why Durbin was living on the streets.
Ducky: I recently read a HUD report. It estimates on any given night, between fifty and sixty thousand men and women who have served, are sleeping on the streets or in shelters.
