Dwight Schrute Quotes
They say, that no man is an island. False. I am an island. And this island, is volcanic. And it is about to erupt, with the molten hot lava... of strategy.
I know that I'm an adult, but maybe I could come by some time for a teeth-cleaning.
I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.
Bear my child. I wanna have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.
I'm been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes, I wake up cradling a gourd.
You cannot exploit your baby for sales.
Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.
I might start a diabolical plot against him after this one...
I wish I had a lair.
Pam: Maybe we can put the box back together.
Dwight: Impossible. He opened it like an ape.
Oh man! I can use this for so many nuts! Macadamias, Brazil nuts, pecans, almonds ... clams, snails ...
For several weeks, my Secret Santa has been giving me pieces of a machine that I've been attempting to assemble. I'm suspicious of this because I had the exact same idea ... for catching Osama bin Laden. I would simply send him a different piece each day. He would assemble it, only to find himself... IN JAIL!
