Sense Billy says most students don't pay 150,000 dollars over 20 years to get their black belt.

Nothing to be alarmed about, it's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer as a coworker.

Angela: I bet she'll eat them right out of your hand with those big strong teeth.
Dwight: Did I tell you about her teeth?

Dwight: Long term tractor releases can put pressure on a relationship.
Clark: Yeah, a lot of my buddies are going through the same thing right now.

Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses...second only to the neck.

People underestimate the power of nostalgia. If baseball can use it to get people to care about that worthless sport, then I can use it to get my siblings to care about the farm.

He used to talk about planting a peanut/grape hybrid...one plant, one sandwich.

You had black hair and then grey hair.

You're back...and you're disgusting.

I really like Andy these days. He's pretend and he does exactly what I tell him to.

I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.

We can tell him his mother is dying. That usually works on him.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael