Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Ellie Torres Quotes
Ellie: You know how I take a nap every day from 10 to 11:45?
Jules: Your life is better than mine
Ellie: Why are you out of breath
Jules: Cause I'm sanding down my disgusting elephant heels. With all the shavings here I could make a second foot
Jules: Are you watching my sex tape?
Ellie: Yeah, but with the volume off so it's not so weird
Laurie [about Ellie]: She's hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman
Ellie: You think I'm hot
Jules: That worked?
Ellie: Well yeah because if that trashy big lipped slag said it, it might be a little true
Laurie: You think I have big lips? That's really sweet
Ellie: If you don't stop with the hazelnut, I'm gonna make my own coffee
Jules: No you won't
Elie: You're right, even saying it was too much work
Ellie [about Josh]: He kisses with a perfect seal around you mouth like he's trying to suck your brains out
Jules: I know, but he's gotten so much better
Ellie: That's better?
Josh: I'm gonna get us some more drinks
Ellie: You totally had sex last night
Jules: How'd you know
Ellie: I'm your best friend, I know these things, plus there's a condom wrapper on your back
Jules: Oh, is it just the one?
Ellie: Good god, Jules
Listen half pint, I'm not gonna thank you for things you're supposed to do. If I did I'd have to start thanking you for killing bugs and supporting me
You need to warn me when you're going to give me life advice so I can get out my notebook
Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!
That's the reason I got a Cabana! To avoid guys with barb wired tattoos.
Grayson: So you're having the whole gang over turkey day, huh?
Jules: Well
Grayson: I don't really have any plans since my wife left and all our friends were pretty much her friends. And both my parents are dead....
Ellie: Did they die in the last six months?
Jules: No.
Ellie: Then who cares? Hand me my drink.
