George Costanza Quotes
Jerry: It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.
George: You're not letting him win. He wins till you're forty.
Jerry: Then what?
George: He still wins but it's not a blowout.
George: It's like going to the bathroom in front of a whole bunch of people and not caring.Jerry: It's not like that at all!
I'm going straight to hell, no two ways about it.
Very exciting, very exciting, it's like watching a birth!
George: You won't think I'm a bad person?
Jerry: Too late for that.
This is like a Penthouse letter. Why can't I meet women like this?
Great! They have one billion people and he found a relative.
All right...I've become attracted to Elaine.
George: Ask them, are there any side effects.Ping: (joking) Impotence.
George: She had this throaty, sexy kind of whisper.
Elaine: Really , like a... like a... (sexy whisper) Jerry, I want to ssslide my tongue around you like a sssnake... Oh... Oh!
Kramer: Spector gave it to me. He's giving everything away... becoming a minimalist.George: Is that the guy who likes fat women?Jerry: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
Jerry: How'd you do on the IQ test?George: (irate) 85!