George Costanza Quotes

So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!

George: (singing) Oh hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl who walked out on me. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I need my baby, oh, won't you tell her. I love her. Oh, hey
Jerry: George I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

George: They're not here! You cost me fifty bucks!
Kramer: Look at you! You run like a girl! Run like a man! Lift your knees!

(singing) I like to stop at the duty free shop. I like to stop at the duty free shop. I like to stop at the duty free shop.

Kramer and George

No-no-no, Kramer. Kramer! Kramer! You cannot abandon people in the middle of an airport pickup! It's a binding social contract. We we must go forward not back.

George: But you are, blanche. You are in the shackles!
Prisoner: You son of a (gets taken away)
George: (happily) Oh, I can't wait to read my Time magazine. Last copy too. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow, in the park! It's supposed to be a beeyoouutiful day! Have a nice life, sentence that is! Oh, you miserable

(from outside the plane, we don't hear him but he is saying) KRAMER!!!!

George: You bought non-refundable tickets, you idiot!
Kramer: She talked me in to it. She said it was the best deal.

George: You don't understand, there's a blurb about me in this magazine!
Prisoner: A blurb?! You're a blurb! Check out the cover, idiot!
Guard: All right, let's go.
(George checks out the cover shot which shows a picture of the aforementioned prisoner with the caption "Caught!" written below.)

Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.

Estelle: George I'm huuunnnggry!
George: Hang on, ma, hang on.

George: I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine; I started leafing through it
Jerry: Glamour?
(Kramer and Elaine laugh slightly)
George: So, one thing lead to another
Jerry: So, what did she do?
George: First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!"

Seinfeld Quotes

I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I I I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

Jerry

Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.

Jerry

Seinfeld

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