George Costanza Quotes
Jerry is dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!
(describing Elaine) A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.
(describing Jerry) Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose.
I have been going to the movies for 25 years and nobody ever asks me for the stub.
George: Was it a scratch or a pick?
Jerry: It was a pick!
George: Hey, it's me you're talking to! Was there any nostril penetration?
Jerry: (stutters) There may have been some accidental penetration!
George: (singing) Oh hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl who walked out on me. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I need my baby, oh, won't you tell her. I love her. Oh, hey
Jerry: George I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
What is with this damn zipper?
George: Is this Elaine? (picks up the card)
George: Huh! (makes an unusual look to the card)
She made a big breakfast every Sunday. I don't know what she put in those eggs.
George: Hey! How come I didn't get a Christmas card? Everybody else got one. Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I thought we were good friends. I don't get a Christmas card. I don't get it.
Elaine: You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right here. (rubs George's head on her breasts) Here's your Christmas card.
George: Two weeks ago I tried a soft boiled egg. Never liked it before. Now I'm dunking a piece of toast in there and I'm loving it.
Susan: I'm not a soft boiled egg.
George: And I am not a piece of toast.
So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!