Cam: I want you to read this, but not until after I leave.
Gloria: It's going to make me cry isn't it, you beautiful cornfed son-of-a-bitch.

Gloria: Manny! How many times have I told you not to call me mom when you're dressed like an old man!
Manny: Including now? Once.

Don't Bugs Bunny me.

Alex is going to be a very nervous man.

Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.

Phil

You blew it you dummy. I wanted to sell the stupid sauce.

What the hell?! I'll clean my room. I promise!

Joe

You realize she's not that big, right? It's mostly just hair.

Alex

Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!

We will keep in touch, son.

I don't trust lakes. Where I come from this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley