Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.

Phil

You blew it you dummy. I wanted to sell the stupid sauce.

What the hell?! I'll clean my room. I promise!

Joe

You realize she's not that big, right? It's mostly just hair.

Alex

Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!

We will keep in touch, son.

I don't trust lakes. Where I come from this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.

I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.

Gloria: Jay, don't forget Joe's new doll.
Jay: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.

What is with you Americans and the foot?

Jay: Name two cabinet level positions.
Gloria: That's easier. There's the higher one for the glasses, and the lower one for the pots and the pans.

Modern Family Quotes

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny