Hank Lawson Quotes
Evan: If she [Katie] actually had cojones and you saw them when you treated her, you couldn't even tell me, could you?
Hank: Nope, couldn't. Confidentiality.
Evan: Have you ruled out CD?
Hank: Chronic Duane syndrome?
Evan: Crappy driving.
Evan: There you are. You want some eggs?
Hank: No, I don't.
Evan: That's good,'cause I only made enough for me.
(Katie earlier referred to Hank as "M.S.G.")
Hank: What's an M.S.G.?
Evan: Medical super god.
Hank: Oh, alright.
Evan: Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
(Much later, Evan's still guessing what it means.)
Evan: Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus spewing growth.
(Still, much later...)
Evan: Medieval slut gatherer. Man seeking guacamole. Manatee...
Hank: She [Jill] offered me a job. In her E.R.
Evan: As in, like, a bail-on-HankMed-and-leave-your-CFO-high-and-dry kind of job?
Hank: Well, that's not how she put it, but yeah, it could have that effect.
Rob: So you are our last-minute compromise.
Hank: I've been called worse.
Evan: At HankMed, we aim to compromise, so that's great.
Rob: That's the worst business mantra I've ever heard.
(toasting at the restaurant)
Hank: To Allison.
Divya: To Valentina.
Evan: And to two more checks in the mail.
Evan: Uh, have fun at Sunday brunch, by the way.
Hank: Aww, you're bitter about Hankapalooza.
Evan: No. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all, man. Hank-o-rama. Hankstock!
Hank: Stop doing bad things to my name.
(Hank runs into Jill in the street with gourmet coffee)
Hank: Is the, uh, hospital coffee really that bad?
Jill: Oh, officially speaking? No, it's delicious. But off the record...
Hank: You could remove nail polish with it.
Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.
Evan: So today, we are gonna meet ten women. They're gonna ask us what we do for a living. We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it that at least one of them is gonna be interested in your services.
Hank: And the other nine?
Evan: They'll be interested in mine.
(as Boris and his party leaves)
Evan: Whooo, man crush!
Hank: You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.
