Eddie: You got me?
Hank: No, you represent everything I hate, but I do find you highly entertaining, continue please.

I'm holding out for Keitel. When in doubt call, in the Bad Lieutenant. Plus the guy loves to show his dong. Gotta love that in a thespian.

Hank: It doesn't have to be this hard Becca
Becca: Shouldn't it be hard? I mean isn't that pretty much what happens after the final straw. It's impossible to make things go back to the way they were.

Hank: Comparing me to the world's most infamous fan of underage girls is not the way to start a pep talk Charlie.
Charlie: Are you forgetting about R Kelly? Jerry Lee Lewis, that's another. Shit he married one. I think she was his cousin. That's kind of hot.
Hank: If you say so.

Hank: No Charlie you look good. Like a baby. Like a big sexy baby.
Charlie: Thank you.

Charlie: Nice cock by the way, very manly.
Hank: This old thing?

Hank: I refuse to be number twelve Charlie.
Charlie: Oh I wasn't counting the guys.

My adventures in the screen trade have been about as much fun as forced anal.

Not only does the lady have bodacious ta-ta's she also has splendiferous taste in literature.

A lot can happen in a weekend.

Hank: What's that look?
Charlie: What look?
Hank: That shifty somewhat cunty look of yours.

It's not your fault. I'm like fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.

Californication Quotes

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.