Eddie: You got me?
Hank: No, you represent everything I hate, but I do find you highly entertaining, continue please.

I'm holding out for Keitel. When in doubt call, in the Bad Lieutenant. Plus the guy loves to show his dong. Gotta love that in a thespian.

Hank: It doesn't have to be this hard Becca
Becca: Shouldn't it be hard? I mean isn't that pretty much what happens after the final straw. It's impossible to make things go back to the way they were.

Hank: Comparing me to the world's most infamous fan of underage girls is not the way to start a pep talk Charlie.
Charlie: Are you forgetting about R Kelly? Jerry Lee Lewis, that's another. Shit he married one. I think she was his cousin. That's kind of hot.
Hank: If you say so.

Hank: No Charlie you look good. Like a baby. Like a big sexy baby.
Charlie: Thank you.

Charlie: Nice cock by the way, very manly.
Hank: This old thing?

Hank: I refuse to be number twelve Charlie.
Charlie: Oh I wasn't counting the guys.

My adventures in the screen trade have been about as much fun as forced anal.

Not only does the lady have bodacious ta-ta's she also has splendiferous taste in literature.

A lot can happen in a weekend.

Hank: What's that look?
Charlie: What look?
Hank: That shifty somewhat cunty look of yours.

It's not your fault. I'm like fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.

Californication Quotes

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.


I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?