Popular Hermes Quotes
Farnsworth: Uh... Jenny McNeal, you are charged with jury-tampering in last week's case... on account of your hot, naked affair with the foreman. How do you plead?
Leela: Your Honour, I move for a mistrial, on the grounds that I'm also having a hot, naked affair with the foreman of this jury.
Hermes: I'll see you during the recess!
Lrrr: If McNeal wishes to be taken seriously why does she not simply tear the judge's head off?
Fry: Ow! Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day.
Hermes: Labor Day? That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
Fry: That's the one.
Hermes: Hot damn, a day off!
Hermes: So you're telling me I could fire my whole staff and hire Grunka Lunkas at half the cost?
Glurmo: That's right. They think they have a good union but they don't. They're basically slaves.
Professor: Then we plunged into a massive worm hole, never to be seen again...
Bender: Yeah we're back!
Hermes: Sweet coincidence of Port Au Prince, we're back at Earth!
Professor: Of course! That was the Panama worm hole, Earth's central channel for shipping.
Dr. Zoidberg: How humorous.
Professor: It's sort of a Comedy Central shipping channel and now we're on it.
Amy: I get it!
Hey, didn't we used to be a delivery company?
Computer: Also you have a rectangular object in your colon.
Hermes: That's a calculator. I ate it to gain its power.
They have phones in booths now? Finally, now I don't have to lug this cell phone around.
12 straight hours of limbo - I haven't done that since my honeymoon.
Leela: You make it look so easy.
Hermes: I've smoked a lot of paperwork in my day.
Hermes: Push harder, Bender.
Bender: I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner.
Professor: We've been hired to make our 100th building delivery!
Hermes: That's nearly ten per year.
Hermes: OK, Captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
Leela (reading): Death by airlock failure.
Hermes: Mm.
Leela: Death by brain parasite.
Hermes: Yeah.
Leela: Death by sonic diarrhoea?
Hermes: Oh, you don't want that!
Leela: Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible.
Hermes: Sign the paper.
