Jan Levinson Quotes
Jan. I can't be on top of you 24 hours a day, Michael.
Jan: I guess I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well, maybe next time, you will... estimate me.
Jan: You know, it's amazing to me that in this day and age you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation.
Michael: I watch The L Word... Okay? I watch Queer as (bleep).
Jan: That's not what it's called.
Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. Well, I mean, I guess I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Um, the new CFO is judging me on this too. And, well, it is Michael. So... yeah, I'm very nervous.
Jan
Jan: Surely you aren't serious about this, Michael.
Michael: Of course I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley.
Jan: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have
[interview]
Angela: Judging from her attire, Jan aspires to be a whore.
Jan: I don't know what you're doing here, Michael, but it's very disruptive.
Michael: Just having a little "Guys in the Workplace" thing. [to the men] Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?
Jan: Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael?
Michael: I just have a few things I want to say.
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael: Just hear me out. What is more important than quality? Equality. Now, studies show that today's woman, the "Ally McBeal woman" as I call her, is at a crossroads.
Jan: Michael...
Michael: No, just - you have come a long way, baby! But I just wanna keep it within reason. They did this up in Albany, and they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.
Jan: Now you're really not allowed in this session.
Michael: Well, I'm their boss.
Jan: I'm your boss.
Michael: Can I ask you a question?
Jan: No.
Michael: This is a business question. It's nothing personal. I promise.
Jan: Fine.
Michael: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you're wearing it at the office. And, it's ... I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy.
Jan: Please don't smell me, Michael.
Jan: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then?
Michael: Oh, no no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like "Wam bam, thank you ma'am." But I do say "Thank you ma'am." Not like "Wam bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "Wam bam..." If it's consensual.
Michael: It's nice to see you.
Jan: Nice to see you too, Michael.
Michael: Really?
Jan: Not like that.
Jan: I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Michael: Been thinking about you.
