J.D. Quotes
J.D.: I thought we cared about each other...
Elliot: Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.
J.D.: Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!
Elliot: Do me right here.
J.D.: Okay.
Elliot: See!
Laverne: I need to see you in Mr. Bursky's room.
J.D.: Are you flirting with me? You are, aren't you!
J.D.: Well, I think it's okay to be scared.
Turk: Well, I need you to tell me that every once in a while, man.
J.D.'s Narration: He needs me?
Turk: Anyway, I just came to check up on you; see how you're doing.
J.D.'s Narration: Ask him to move in again.
J.D.: You know, Turk, the offer still stands if you wanna...
Turk: Dude, I already took the keys out your bag
Dr. Kelso: Okay... Uh, did you ask the Bursky family for permission to do an autopsy?
J.D.: They're still in there with him, sir.
Dr. Kelso: It's a teaching hospital, son, you gotta ask.
J.D.'s Narration: Just tell him you can't see Mr. Bursky again. He'll understand.
J.D.: Sir, do you-do you think I could skip just this one?
Dr. Kelso: Why, sure, sport.
J.D.'s Narration: See? Every story needs a good guy.
Dr. Kelso: In fact, why don't you just head on home. You look kinda tired.
J.D.: I am pretty tired!
J.D.: You're too hard on yourself
Elliot: No I'm not, I'm just stupid and ugly and have a pig face
Elliot [about Turk]: How did you know he was hurting. Did you, like, hear it in his voice?
J.D.: With Turk I can always feel it from his soul, like a wave of heat. Are you going to make a joke about how gay that sounds?
Elliot: Definitely. I just don't have the words yet.
J.D.: Well let me know
Dr. Kelso: I bet you can't wait to call all your friends and tell them how pathetic I am.
J.D.: Actually, sir, we young people are more into texting these days
Did you know that Elliot's granny panties are actually her Granny's panties?
J.D. [to Dr. Kelso]
The point is, Elliot, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed too. I have a beard now
Elliot: Do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?
J.D.'s narration: This is getting too serious. Kick her, kick her in the head.
J.D.: Not as much
J.D.: It's like, all of a sudden, this hospital is a police state.
Elliot: The next thing you know, they'll be charging doctors for candy at the gift shop.
J.D.: They do charge doctors for candy at the gift shop, Elliot.
Elliot: Really? Then why does Johann always let me-
J.D.: Because he wants to make you his wife and bring you back to Estonia.
Elliot: Ah, that's why he's always asking me if I'm comfortable around oxen
Elliot [to gift store clerk]: Oooh, look at that big lollipop. I wouldn't know whether to lick it or just to lift up my skirt and spank myself with it.
J.D.: Elliot!
Elliot: It's free candy
