I don't step up to being leader, Troy. I reluctantly accept it when it's thrust upon me.

I hear he has more paint than a French kindergarten.

Jeff: My forehead's not that big right?
Troy: It's not small.

I'm not risking my butt hauling ammo back for the guy that has Vicky dancing for Twinkies.

Britta: Women have a connection to their bodies you could never understand
Jeff: You have a booger.
Britta: I know. It's a part of me.

Stop being meta. Stop taking everything we do and shoving it up its own ass.

Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!

Jeff: It's not you, it's me.
Britta: It's you.

Jeff: It's called chemistry. I have it with everybody.
Shirley: Everybody? I haven't felt any of that chemistry coming my way. I don't know if it's because your racist or because I intimidate you sexually, but I know it's one of those two.

Abed, you're a computer. Scan your mainframe for some juicy memories.

Troy: Didn't we decide at the beginning of the year that for the good of the group we wouldn't allow any intimacy between each other or ourselves?
Jeff: We never said ourselves.
Troy: Ok, now I'm really mad!

Pierce: Who is the dumpling with the nice Asian pair?
Jeff: I think that's the first time sexism has made me hungry.

Community Quotes

Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?


Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex.