Popular Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
Elaine: Lippman wants to see me. SEE ME! That can't be good.
Jerry: Maybe you're getting a raise.
Elaine: Maybe I'm getting a wedgie.
This is what I like, see? You come home and your parents are in your bed!
Jerry: Hey, I've been back four days, I want my mail.
Elaine: It's mostly bills, magazines, and junk mail anyway.
Jerry: Elaine, that's what mail is. Without bills, magazines, and junk mail, there is no mail.
George: There's just no justice. This experience has changed me! It's made me more cynical, more bitter, more jaded!
George: Sure, why not
Elaine: Could you go out with a 66-year-old woman?
Jerry: Well, I'll tell ya, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she'd be spinning.
George: I know a guy who took a vacation on his change.
Jerry: Yeah, Where'd he go, an arcade?
Jerry: Go ahead, you're taking the IQ test.
George: Yeah, and she's gonna find out I'm a moron. You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.
Jerry: Who thinks you're smart?
Elaine: What do you think their parents think?
Jerry: "So, uh, what's your son doing now, Dr. Stevens?" "Oh, he's a public fornicator. Yes, he's a fine boy."
(George is intently watching "Home Alone")
Elaine: What's with him?
Jerry: You know, a lot of people have asked that.
You got a "mickey" source?
Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)
Elaine: I wonder what Gandhi ate before he fasted.Jerry: I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits.Elaine: Really?Jerry: Oh yeah, Gandhi loved Triscuits.