Jim Halpert Quotes
About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.
And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.
Charles: Excuse me, guys. What's going on in here?
Michael: Party Planning Committee. Not your concern, Charles.
Charles: This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time.
Michael: Really? Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.
Jim: No, I would like to get back to work, actually, please.
Charles: Whatcha got, Jim?... What is a two-way petting zoo?
Jim: You pet the animals and they pet you back.
Angela: Thanks again, Charles.
Kelly: Thank you.
Michael: Nobody thanked me.
Jim: Thanks, Charles.
Michael: For breakfast.
Pam: He just had to wear his tux today.
Jim: I thought it'd be funny.
Pam: Took him 40 minutes to get ready.
Jim: Hey, how you doing? Jim Halpert, sales. Just wanted to say, if you need anything, let me know.
Charles: Why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Jim: I didn't think you'd notice. Uh, it's funny actually, there's another salesman out here, Dwight Schrute, and he sent out this memo, as he always does, and, uh, it was about professionalism in the workplace. Of course, he singled me out. So I just had to mess with him.
Charles: Uh.
Jim: Oh, you'd understand if you read the memo which I should probably get you, there's probably one in a drawer... uh. It was pretty crazy. But, uh, not more crazy than wearing a tux, at work, I grant you that... so, uh.
Charles: Your name is Jim?
Jim: Jim Halpert, yep. So, um, just going to let you get back to it...
Michael: Well, well, well, who have we here? Ah, it is Prince Charles Miner. At your service. Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner and he is the new VP for the Northeast region. So, just give it up for this big guy, right? Give it up. [leads round of applause] Here he is.
Charles: I was-
Michael: Wow! Hold that thought. I want everybody to go into the break room. I have a little surprise for you. Go ahead. You too. Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? C'mon, here we go, don't be shy, don't be shy, you're one of us. [whispers] Dwight, stall him a little, I have to get the fish.
Jim: Hey.
Michael: Yes.
Jim: Really wish you would have told me the new boss was coming today.
Michael: What? No, I didn't want to make everybody nervous.
Jim: Nope. I mean, I could have brought a change of clothes, or-
Michael: You look dynamite. What are you talking about? Very slick. Ok, get the fish.
Dwight: Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.
Michael: You know, that's good but it's not classy. I need something classy like the opening of a car dealership.
Jim: That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy.
Michael: He is.
Dwight: He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.
Michael: That's what makes him classy.
Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously.
Jim: I just feel like after 15 years at this company, bravo by the way, that we should celebrate with a very classy event, a night to remember.
Michael: I think you're right. This party has to have all the excitement, drama and intrigue of my time here.
Jim: And of course, classy.
Michael: And classy, yeah.
Dwight: Michael, you're just agreeing with him because he's wearing a tux. Don't you see what he's doing here?
Dwight: Ding dong.
Jim: Who is it?
Dwight: KGB.
Jim: Alright. I just got out of the shower, I'll be one second.
Dwight: [in accent] When you are done, open the door. ... Hello in there?
Jim: Yeah, I'm late for work, so I have to brush my teeth, it's a whole routine.
Dwight: We have more houses to visit.
Jim: If you want to come back then, that'll be fine.
Dwight: We will come back at... how is [looks at watch] 4:45?
Jim: I get back from work around 6.
Dwight: How about 5:15?
Jim: You can try. That, that might work.
Dwight: Very well, we will come back at 5:15.
Jim: Alright.
Michael: Hey, Dwight, great idea. Dwight, Dwight, great idea. How'd you come up with that idea?
Dwight: Inspiration.
Michael: Really? How did- how are you inspired? How did it pop into your head Dwight?
Dwight: You never know when it's gonna strike. Just... boom.
Michael: Give me the details of how that happened.
Jim: You, you are taking about Dwight Schrute. The biggest Wonka fan I know. I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years.
Michael: What?
