Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Becky: So what are you guys out doing today?
Joey: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight guy stuff.
Chandler: You done?
Joey: Yeah.
Robin: Oh, there's our stop.
Joey: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
Becky: You guys live around here too?
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the... uh... sidewalk.
Chandler: You know it?
Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late.
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
Chandler: Ahh, you're killing me!
Ross: She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Joey: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever!
Joey: How can you get a monkey into a zoo?
Chandler: I know that one! No, wait. That's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah, well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, ya know?
(Teaching Ross to talk dirty) If you can't talk dirty to me, how are you going to talk dirty to her? Now, tell me you want to caress my butt!
(Sees Ross and Mrs. Bing kissing) Uh... I'll just pee in the street.
All right Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints!
(About the new guy at work) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lasting.
Chandler: Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?
Joey: Stalin! Stalin. Do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me!
Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good!
Chandler: Hey, you know, you might wanna try Joseph.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Chandler: Oh man, in my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh fun. Okay. Liam Neeson.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Morley Safer.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
