Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh fun. Okay. Liam Neeson.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Morley Safer.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
All right Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints!
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya!
I swear to God, Dad. That's not how they measure pants!
(Teaching Ross to talk dirty) If you can't talk dirty to me, how are you going to talk dirty to her? Now, tell me you want to caress my butt!
Joey: All right, when did ya have it on last?
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Chandler: You don't get a lot of "doy" these days.
Monica: (About Ross's gift) I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: (Panicked) Ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, no... the, um, the... "love" part?
Chandler: (Stuttering incoherently) F-hah... flennin...
Rachel: Oh... my God.
Chandler: (Rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no...
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Monica: (About Joey's modeling job) Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.
Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (Crosses fingers)
Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
(About the new guy at work) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lasting.
