Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSJules Cobb Quotes
Sheila: Why do you have a post-it that says "I'm awesome?"
Jules: Because I am.
Ellie: We are not friends, human beings cannot be friends with chimps
Bobby: Sure they can. My buddy Daryl was best friends with his chimp, Binky.
Jules: It's true. Until Binky turned six and then he get angry one day and ripped of Daryl's arm.
Bobby: They're still friends, they're just not best friends.
Travis, we'll never be even. Want to see the scar from the Cesarean section? There's a hair growing in it now.
Jules: Oh my god, that bag is soaked with grease. I'm telling you right now, i don't care what's in it, I'm eating it.
Travis: It's a human head.
Jules: If it's deep fried, I'm still in.
Jules: When you act like you don't want to talk to me, it just makes me want to talk to you even more.
Grayson: That may be the world's most annoying personality trait.
Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.
Jules: If you're not going to talk to me, why'd you come back to my house?
Ellie: Cause I'm wet and I know you just recovered your couch.
Jules: Would you help us figure out who gets dibs on a guy.
Laurie: Well that's easy, which one of you is pregnant?
Jules: No one.
Laurie: Then I got nothing.
Jules: I want to put that on a string and wear it around my neck.
Ellie: sweetie, when you say people's body parts are so adorable you want to wear them, it makes you seem a little serial killer-ey, especially when you do it about kids.
Jules: I'd love to have a scarf of little baby hands.
Ellie: See, that's not a great out loud thought.
Jules: I'm actually feeling a little guilty. Last night you left your purse here and when the pizza man came i was two dollars short, so I took it from you.
Ellie: Two bucks? Big deal.
Jules: I also took a pack of gum, lipstick, and 28 other dollars. I was going out to get wine.
Ellie: You stole from me to support a drinking habit? I am so proud of you.
Jules: Wow, it' my first very golf cart ride of shame.
Bobby: It's not that bad, just pretend like you're coming home from a ball or something.
Jules: Yeah, I'm Cinderella.
Drinking out of a third place trophy makes you feel like a winner.
