Why? Why won't he love me.

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Chick: Ding a ling a ling...
Jules: That's my cue since I was four. I had to use both my hands.
Laurie: Awe how cute.

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(pretending to be Ellie) Jules, I can say you look beautiful, because you're the only one I'm nice to.

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You said you'd be mean, but that cut like a knife.

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Jules: What did he just say?
Laurie: Got me!
Ellie: Razzle dazzle.

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(to Ellie about Andy) I'm going to beat the optimism out of that man.

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Could you imagine if we ever dated. It would be like dropping a bomb on a forest fire.

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Do you know who else mates for life? Termites.

• Permalink: Do you know who else mates for life? Termites.
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Ellie: Really Bug Hookers?
Laurie: That's the title!

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You broke Bobby, you fix him. And I'm borrowing this. It's cute.

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Bobby: Steak and champagne.
Laurie: I love me some beef and bubbles. Oh! That should be our secret detective names.

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Jules: You can't wear fake nails on just one hand, it makes you look like a crazy whore
Laurie: I only had four left and this is the hand I smoke with

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