You did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Never do that again.

I can’t help unless you help yourself. Time to tear off that band-aid.

Ex-girlfriend: I put a GPS tracker on his car. I thought he was cheating on me!
Gibbs: Hey, nobody’s judging you.
Bishop: I am. Well done!

Mitch Monroe: By the time I was locked up, I didn’t have many friends left. Most of them got killed.
Gibbs: Yeah, by you!

McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!

Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.

Gibbs [to Reeves]

Bishop: If it did happen, and that is a big “if,” I wonder if Top Gun beach volleyball was involved, because I can totally picture Torres running around the sand in tight jeans…
Gibbs: Fantasize on your own time, Bishop!

Congresswoman Flemming: Oh, Gibbs, you’re here!
Gibbs: Yes. I work here.

Ducky: How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one’s table.
Gibbs: Yeah? I thought it was just an old dead guy.

Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.

NCIS Quotes

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.