Mary Shannon Quotes
Little girl: He's not feeling too good. Pooped all over our energy garden.
Mary: Well, you've got an energy garden. You kind of had it coming.
A child is going to be who a child is going to be.
It's one baby. I'm not having puppies.
I have no idea on what it takes to make a good parent but I've got a pretty good handle on what it takes to make a bad one.
Single mothers are super heroes but I don't want to be one.
Mom, are we seriously going to have this warm and fuzzy catch up in front of all these other weeble wobbles?
For the record, just because my boobs are so big that Dolly Parton can sue for silhouette infringement doesn't mean I'm this delicate flower or some porcelain doll.
Mary: Now you're running around like some sort of munchkin PI because Brandi thinks I mad at her?
Peter: Pretty much.
Stan: Mary, Congratulations...
Mary: I had sex. It worked. So.
Stan: Mary, I've let this slide long enough waiting for the exact right moment to bring up the elephant in the room. Hmm. I did not just say that.
Mary: Well, it seems like you did.
Marshall: Besides I don't mind hanging out with Vic.
Mary: Of course you don't. He's a pint size you with a killer tan.
Look, we're stuck in 1985. Daddy can't deal with his gay son. All I need now are my acid wash jeans and a scrunchie.
