I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream.

Dwight: I can't believe you came.
Michael: That's what she said.

This is gonna feel so good, getting this thing off my chest. That's what she said.

Hey will you guys let me know if this ever airs?

The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.

Michael: Am I doing the wrong thing?
Jim: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch.

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

You don't need a mom, because you have my number and you can call me anytime.

I can't do this. All the channels are going to be different there. I'm not going to be able to find my shows. I am not going to start improv at level one. I don't think my credits are going to transfer.

Oscar: What town do Holly's parents live in?
Michael: I'm not sure...Mount tuh (mumbles).
Kevin: Sounds beautiful.

Michael: Was it just me, or did you think we were going to have sex at some point?
Angela: It was just you.

You should never settle for who you are.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael