Miranda Bailey Quotes
DEREK: "Dr. Bailey, what's wrong?"
MIRANDA: "I went and had a baby, that's what's wrong. Now you don't see my name anywhere on that board. I stopped being a doctor and started being a mother!"
MEREDITH: [narrating] "Everybody's a liar."
PRESTON: "Dr. Grey, is that a dog?"
MEREDITH: [holding dog by the leash] "No."
MIRANDA: "Tell me that is not a dog."
ALEX: "It's not a dog."
"Besides, if I'm not going home, nobody's going home!" [walking away, shaking her head] "Ten years of marriage and I don't even get to finish my lobster!"
GEORGE: "Yes, ma'am?"
MIRANDA: "Stop looking at my va-jay-jay!"
GEORGE: "Yes, ma'am."
MIRANDA: [to the interns] "I've been gone for two weeks. Two weeks and you ran off two residents? I've got people phoning me at home, screaming, telling me my interns are a bunch of Rosemary's Babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being. I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?"
GEORGE: [hugs her] "You're back."
MIRANDA: "I'm not back."
GEORGE: "You're not?"
MIRANDA: "Get off me."
GEORGE: "Dr. Bailey?"
GEORGE: "What do you want me to tell Dr. Montgomery Shepherd when she answers her page?"
MIRANDA: [watches her water break] "You can tell her my contractions are 10 minutes apart and my water just broke all over your shoes!"
"Go away. I don't want to see any of you until after this baby is born, which, if he stays on schedule and does like I told him to, should be in about four and a half hours."
MIRANDA: "What are you people doing out here?"
RICHARD: "Are you alright? Can I get you anything?"
MIRANDA: "Hmm. Well, a boy the size of a 10-pound bowling ball is trying to work itâ€™s way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina?"
RICHARD: "Uh... well..."
MIRANDA: "I didn't think so."
PATIENT: "I was struck by lightning."
MEREDITH: "You mean you fell out of a tree that was hit by lightning."
PATIENT: "Same difference."
MIRANDA: "Actually, medically, it's not the same difference. And it would be helpful if, from now on, you told us the whole truth!"
CRISTINA: "This is great. No blood, no guts, no lives to save. It's dead quiet..."
MIRANDA: "Yang, did you really just say that?"
CRISTINA: "Say what?"
GEORGE: "The 'q' word."
IZZIE: "That's like saying 'Macbeth' in the theater."
CRISTINA: "Oh please. You think because someone says its quiet that it will meanâ€¦"
"What is it with bikes. Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is."
RICHARD: "I see you in there."
MIRANDA: "No, you donâ€™t."
RICHARD: "Your husband was discharged over an hour ago."
MIRANDA: "I'm not here."
RICHARD: "Go home. You're not working today. You're on maternity leave."
MIRANDA: [shuts door] "Exactly!"
GEORGE: "You know Joe?"
MIRANDA: "Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me."
GEORGE: "Oh, so you and Joe..."
MIRANDA: "All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty." [Slaps George] "That's why you got syphilis."
MIRANDA: "Oh come on. All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty." [slaps George] "That's why you got syphilis."