New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXFavorite Nick Miller Quotes
Nick: You never listen to pipe talk.
Jess: Pipe talk is boring.
Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.
Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."
Nick: What was that? Did you just grunt at me?
Schmidt: It wasn't a grunt, it was a hrmph.
Nick: A hrmph sounds like this - huh-rumph.
Schmidt: Sorry you took it the wrong way, it was not a grunt.
Nick: Serena Williams, that was a grunt.
Nick: I didn't punch a girl. I punched a horrifying monster. You of all people should know this, Frankenstein!
Frankenstein: You're the real monster!
Jess: I don't want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?
Nick: Yeah, sure. I'm not doing anything today.
Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I look bad in hats.
Winston: Schmidt is tired of doing things for you that go unnoticed — lining your shoes up at the door.
Nick: Don't line my shoes up at the door.
Winston: Recording your favorite shows. The turn-down service.
Nick: The turn-down service is weird, and I never asked you to do that.
Schmidt: Well I guess those chocolate mints just disappeared on their own.
Nick: It's Schmidt we're talking about here. After we saw the movie "Titanic," he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.
Jess: What?!
Nick: Look it up. They're called Zane-iacs.
Skylar: Do you know how to make drinks?
Nick: Do I know how to make drinks?
Skylar: Yeah, like alcoholic drinks?
Nick: Yeah, I do that professionally.
Skylar: You could get me drunk professionally?
I can't believe I'm the sober one. That's actually never happened before in my life.
Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.
