The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
Raj: Sure.
Emily: They kind of turn me on.
Raj: And play.
Raj: You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. Y'know, like, maybe three hundred tiny haircuts over a ten year period.
Raj: If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a Honey Baked Ham.
Emily: If I saw you out with another woman, I'd be pretty upset.
Raj: Thank you. Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen.
Raj: Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.
Sheldon: I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
Raj: You don't have to make me anything.
Sheldon: No, I do. You're upset about Emily and you're Indian. I need to make you chai tea. Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds. Do you happen to have any on you?
Raj: Sorry, I left them in my turban.
Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture. That's close enough.
Leonard: Penny and I have some big news.
Penny: We're engaged!
Raj: And I thought me having sex with Emily was gonna be the big news.
Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why?
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what? That may be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. Like, I fell off a few times.
Wolowitz: I would have caught up to her if I didn't pull my hammy
Raj: Oh please, you weigh 80 pounds, you don't have a hammy
It's too late. He's been murdered by someone in this room.
Screw that! I sat on the floor for 7 years. I'm staying right here!
Penny: Who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry ... hey, who's not the murderer?