The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Howard: They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the horrible side effect of anal leakage.
Raj: Is there a good anal leakage?
Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.
Howard: I feel for ya I have a psychotic mommy, too.
We have a new rule if no one talks for three minutes you can just hang up. I'm so into her.
You're right. I should finish the game. I take my plus-one longsword stab myself in the face with it. I'm dead. I've got a date with a girl. Bye!
Leonard: I wasn't screwing around with anyone.
Raj: Of course not. She was just sniffing around your goods because she was hunting for truffles.
Leonard: It's nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods.
Raj: I both hate you and want to be you. It's Ryan Gosling all over again.
Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser"
Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.
Howard: There's a party for incoming post-docs tonight. Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie.
Raj: You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?
Howard: No, I am definitely up a cup size.
Raj: You, know, b-but they're very firm, so you've got that going for you.
Howard: You think?
Raj: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very perky.
Howard: Thank you. I really needed to hear that today.
