Ron Swanson Quotes
Tom put all my records into this rectangle!
I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.
Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.
Chris: Ron, I want to do things the Swanson way.
Ron: Wonderful. First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words. I have used 9. You have used 20.
Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.
I will leave my children $50 a piece. Enough for the cab ride home from the funeral and a steak dinner. End of discussion.
Ron: The three most useless jobs in the world in order are: lawyer, congressman, and doctor.
I've had the same will since I was 8 years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.
Ben: I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have a weapon at work.
Ron: Literally, everything is a weapon. That folder in my hands is far deadlier than this bow in yours.
Ron Swanson: Ron.
Ron Don: Ron.
Ron Swanson: Last name?
Ron Done: Done.
Ron Swanson: Is that your name or are you telling me you're finished talking?
Ron Done: Both.
Ron Swanson: Done and Done.
Ron: We only subscribe to two magazines: Reader's Digest and Ebony. Ebony was a clerical error but it was an interesting year of reading.
Sales person: Oh, we don't accept American currency, sir.
Ron: This is the most wonderful piece of paper in the world. Of course you'll accept it. Accept it.