Rory Gilmore Quotes
Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.
Lorelai: I hate crossword puzzles. They make me feel stupid.
Rory: Then don't do 'em.
Lorelai: Well, but if you don't do them, you're not only stupid, you're also a coward.
Rory: Or you have better things to do with your time.
Lorelai: You think people will buy that?
Rory: The people who line up on a daily basis and ask you if you do crossword puzzles and then, when you say no, challenge you as to why? Yes, I think they will buy it.
Lorelai: So, there was an ambulance?
Rory: Yes, there was.
Lorelai: Did they use the sirens?
Rory: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Ooh, I hope Taylor was already in bed!
Rory: We're studying.
Jess: You're studying. I'm prying into your personal life.
Rory: Okay, that's a good idea. But, if we went with that, we'd actually have to build a robot.
Madeline: Yes we would.
Rory: And who knows how to do that?
Madeline: I don't know. (points to Brad) He looks like he should know!
Brad: I've never built a robot!
Louise: (leans over toward him) But you've tried haven't you?
Brad: Yes I have.
(Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks through the front door. The phone is ringing)
Lorelai: Agh!
Rory: Hey.
Lorelai: Gah!
Rory: Mom! (answers the phone) Hello? (hangs up) That ringing is not in your head, you know.
Lorelai: Uh, you've gotta read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent!
Rory: Why didn't you answer the phone?
Lorelai: Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I knew who it was.
Rory: Who was it?
Lorelai: The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh.
Rory: Dean?
Lorelai: Dean the determined.
Rory: Oh man.
(phone rings again)
Lorelai: Five bucks says I know who that is.
Rory: (answers the phone) Hello?
Richard: Rory, it's your grandfather.
Rory: Oh, hey Grandpa.
Lorelai: He did that on purpose.
Paris: Okay, has everyone finished reading?
Louise: Oh, are we reading these now?
Rory: That's why we've all been kind of quiet for the last ten minutes.
Louise: I thought it was like, prayer time or whatever.
(Dean on answering machine)
Beep* Hey, it's me. It's 4:00. Call me when you get home.
Beep* Hey, uh, it's 4:30. I'm home. Call me.
Beep* Quarter to 5:00. Hey, where are you? I'll try to page you.
Beep* 5:30. Did you get my page? Call me with the answer. Bye.
Rory: They're not all from him.
Beep* Hey, I totally forgot you were getting home at 6:00.
Lorelai: And yet, oddly, after remembering that information...
Beep* Hey, it's 5:45 and I just thought I'd see if you got home early.
Lorelai: I swear that boy would make a good drinking game.
Lorelai: You have a new special.
Luke: I sure do.
Lorelai: Nice. What is the special omelet?
Luke: You won't like it.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: Because you've been eating here for years and I know what you like, and you won't like it.
Lorelai: Can I at least hear what it is?
Luke: Fine. It's three eggs with bits of bacon.
Lorelai: I like bacon.
Luke: Cubed tomatoes.
Lorelai: Sounds good.
Luke: Swiss cheese and a dash of oregano.
Lorelai: A dash, he says.
Luke: I've got other customers here.
Lorelai: I'm gonna go with the special omelet.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: With a side of bacon.
Luke: There's bacon in the omelet.
Lorelai: Oh, then skip the bacon.
Luke: The side of bacon?
Lorelai: The bacon in the omelet.
Luke: Hold the bacon.
Lorelai: Can I get Jack cheese?
Luke: On the side?
Lorelai: Instead of Swiss, Swiss is so stringy.
Luke: Fine, Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Also, I think I'm allergic to oregano so hold that, too, and some coffee.
Luke: So, just the eggs, tomatoes, and Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Not too many tomatoes.
Luke: Light on the tomatoes.
Lorelai: Very light, just a teeny-tiny amount, practically none.
Luke: I'm skipping the tomatoes. It's an omelet with Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Perfect.
Luke: You did this on purpose.
Lorelai: Did what?
Rory: French toast for me. (to Lorelai) That was cruel.
Lane: I'm not going to be a salesperson. I want to do something cool!
Rory: Then sell refrigerators.
Lane: So not funny.
Rory: Would you really feel guilty?
Lorelai: No, but I'd feel guilty about not feeling guilty, and you see how that could go on forever.
Rory: Taylor's wigging.
Lorelai: I know. He's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for almost an hour.
