Ross Geller Quotes
Zookeeper: Meet me in the nocturnal house in fifteen minutes.
Ross: Hey, look. I don't really enjoy being with other men that way.
Joey: (To Erika) I'm not Drake.
Ross: That's right, he's not Drake. He's Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin.
Erika: Is this true?
Rachel: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Monica: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Chandler: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Chandler: Well, I've got to get to work, I've got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
Ross: No, no. That's me.
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Ross: And you had no idea that they weren't getting along?
Rachel: None!
Joey: They didn't fight a lot?
Rachel: No, they didn't even talk to each other! How was I supposed to know they were having problems?
Rachel: (Holding a tray of coffee) Okay, who ordered what?
Ross: Oh, I believe I ordered the half drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
Chandler: Yes, and that with the cigarette butt floating in it, is that decaf?
Ross: She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Joey: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever!
Ross: (To Phoebe) Is everything okay?
Phoebe: Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.
Ross: Oh, my God.
Chandler: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Carol: (About Ben) So how did everything go?
Ross: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
Carol: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Ross: It's okay. I'm sorry.
Carol: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Ross: I... uh... can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Carol: You do?
Ross: Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
Carol: Of course I do.
Susan: You want to dance?
Ross: No, that's fine.
Susan: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Ross: Okay.
Joey: (About Carol and Susan's wedding) Are you really not going?
Ross: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
Monica: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
Ross: If you wanna call that a reason.
Carol: (About Susan) We're... getting married.
Ross: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Carol: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
Ross: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
