Ross Geller Quotes
(To Phoebe, about Rachel talking to another guy) Would you look at that guy? I mean how long has he been talking to her? It's like, back off buddy, she's a waitress not a geisha.
Phoebe: (About Ross's chances to date Rachel) Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
Ross: Okay, now how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster.
Ross: Here you go. You can pay me back whenever you like.
Monica: You have dinosaur checks?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something. What's wrong with that?
Monica: Nothing, nothing. Hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Thank you, I'm very grateful.
Ross: Hey Joey, I have to cancel racquetball for tonight. That was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Joey: You're blowing me off for a monkey?
Ross: Hey, we can reschedule for Saturday.
Joey: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Chandler: All right, one of you guys give me your underwear.
Ross: Oh, no.
Joey: Can't help you there. I'm not wearing any.
Chandler: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Joey: Oh, I'm taking heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
Zookeeper: Meet me in the nocturnal house in fifteen minutes.
Ross: Hey, look. I don't really enjoy being with other men that way.
Ross: The zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Zookeeper: The zoo. You believe everything the zoo tells you?
Ross: That's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
Ross: I'm gonna go visit Marcel at the zoo and surprise him.
Chandler: You know what? I think he will be surprised until he realizes he's a monkey and, you know, not capable of that emotion.
Joey: This is amazing.
Ross: I know.
Joey: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's making movies.
Ross: This is so exciting. I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Chandler: What? You never look down in the shower?
Mr. Lipson: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
Ross: Well, I, uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchin, answers to the name Marcel.
Mr. Lipson: Ah, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
Ross: Oh my God, what happened?
Mr. Lipson: Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better, but then he died.
Ross: I can't believe this.
Mr. Lipson: I'm sorry, Mr. Geller. But you know, there's an old saying: sometimes monkeys die. It's not a great saying, but it certainly is fitting today.
Joey: (To Erika) I'm not Drake.
Ross: That's right, he's not Drake. He's Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin.
Erika: Is this true?
Rachel: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Monica: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Chandler: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!
(Throws water in Joey's face)
