Samantha Jones Quotes
Carrie: He's a photographer.
Samantha: And you met him at your shrink's?
Carrie: It wasn't a setup or anything. Jeez! What if he's crazy?
Samantha: It's the crazy ones that have the good pills.
Stanford: Excuse me, but when did wild sex come back in style?
Carrie: Oh I think that was the weekend you spent at the Barney's warehouse sale.
Waiter: (male, barely dressed) Three cosmopolitans, a diet coke, and a vodka martini with a twist.
Samantha: (whips the table) I said olive! (Waiter bends over, and Samantha gives his butt a whipping) Bad waiter! Bad waiter!
Miranda: What do you tip for that?
Samantha: Anyone else want a whack?
Charlotte: How does he wait our tables dressed like that, it's humiliating.
Carrie: Well the summer I worked at Howard Johnson's I had to wear an orange hat.
Samantha: Don't be so judgemental! This is just a sexual expression. All these people have jobs and pay their bills. They're just having fun with fetishes. (tickling Charlotte with the tip of her whip) Hmm, I wonder what your fetish is.
Stanford: Charlotte has a thing for Crabtree & Evelyn foot cream.
Charlotte: I don't have a fetish!
Samantha: We all have a fetish! The difference between us and them is, they're putting it out there where everyone can see. And I think it's healthy and fabulous.
Carrie: (getting up) Well, it was lovely to see you all. And remember ladies, whipping on the first date is considered forward.
Stanford: You sit your ass down, Mistress Carrie, there are drinks present.
Carrie: No can do, Big's flying to Paris tomorrow for business and I want to say goodbye.
Samantha: Oh, why not give him a goodbye he'll never forget? (hands the whip and top hat to Carrie)
Stanford: Sacre bleu!
Samantha: Go get 'im, girl!
Carrie: It's about the fact that I wasn't even a factor in his decision-making process.
Miranda: Totally.
Samantha: Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we", and their version of "we", is "me and my dick".
Miranda: Totally!
Samantha: I need a new gynecologist. Do you like yours?
Miranda: Not right now, no.
Samantha: Well, at least she's a woman. I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange. Having a guy spend all that time down there and then you leave, without an orgasm and a bill!
Charlotte: I've never done a number two at a guys place before.
Samantha: Honey, you're so uptight you need to do a number seven.
Samantha: I never leave underwear at a guy's place, because I never see it again.
Charlotte: What happens to it?
Samantha: Nothing, I just never go back.
Carrie: Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie everytime you sleep with a guy?
Samantha: That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
Miranda: And that's why, I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.
Carrie: Half my music collection was left behind by past boyfriends.
Charlotte: I always give that stuff back.
Carrie: Oh I don't. I consider it a parting gift. Thanks for playing and here's the latest from Hootie and the Blowfish.
Samantha: They're sexual souvenirs.
Charlotte: I'm so confused. Is he gay or is he straight?
Carrie: It's not that simple anymore. The real question is; is he a straight gay man, or is he a gay straight man?
Samantha: Hopefully, he's a gay straight guy, which means he's straight with a lot of gay qualities. Whereas, a straight gay guy, is just a gay guy who plays sports and won't fuck you.
Samantha: Relationships have been on a decline since women came out of the cave, looked around, and said, "This isn't so hard."
Carrie: Okay, so you don't need a man, but you still want one.
Samantha: Oh honey, I want more than one.
Carrie: I can't decide whether you represent our future or our demise.
Samantha: I am the future!
Mirnada: When a single guy has money, it works to his advantage. But when a single woman has money it's a problem to be dealt with. It's ridculous! I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.
Samantha: Bravo, honey.
It's so interesting, you can tell a man I hate you and you'll have the best sex of your life, but tell him I love you, and you'll probably never see him again.
Samantha: How's he in bed?
MIranda: There are no words.
Samantha: Sounds like a dream relationship to me.
Carrie: Yeah, he can make you cum then he can make you a cosmopolitan.
