NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSTim McGee Quotes
Bishop: Courtesy of Facebook, we learned that Dean once sailed across the Pacific. Alone.
McGee: Before that, he summited Mt. Kilimanjaro, also alone.
Torres: A man after my own hear. Except for the mountain climbing and sailing. And, uh, Meat Loaf.
Bishop: Hey, I like Meat Loaf.
Gibbs: Why are we talking about Meat Loaf? We got a theory or not?!
Vance: As someone who was also married to a strong, intelligent woman, may I give you some advice, Agent McGee?
McGee: Don’t blow it?
Vance: No. Never take it for granted. Not for one second. And don’t blow it.
McGee: There’s an entire American sub-culture devoted to bone collecting.
Bishop: How do you know that?
Gibbs: He dated Abby!
Nelson: My carbon footprint is very low.
Gibbs: Aside from smoking like a chimney.
Nelson: That’s the only reason I got busted.
McGee: You lit up in a public place, it’s against the law.
Nelson: Apparently, horses can smell prime kush for miles!
McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!
McGee [about his apartment's former tenant]: Did you know that when they found him, he was completely soaked in blood from head to toe? Cops could barely tell that he was human. They said that he looked more like Satan.
Quinn: ...Well, if you ever *do* tell Delilah, you should probably leave that out.
There’s gotta be an expiration on the creepy factor! Besides, it’s not like it’s haunted!
Why would you name a bull “Robert”?
McGee [asking the important question]
Quinn: I mean, maybe it's a coincidence. [McGee and Gibbs give her a look.] Oh, oh, no. Nope. Rule 69. "No coincidences."
McGee: No, actually Number 69 is "Never trust a woman who doesn't trust her man."
Quinn: Huh? Wait, what?! Really? That... sounds a little misogynistic, don't you think? Huh? I mean, do you have a rule that says "Never trust a man who doesn't trust his woman"? Think about it! Huh? No? Think about it! Rule 51!
McGee [to Gibbs]: "Sometimes you're wrong"! [Gibbs smacks the back of McGee's head.]
McGee: What are you doing?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Changing the subject!
McGee: How do you sleep at night?!
Torres: On my back. Naked.
McGee: Office equipment is your friend.
Torres: It's a bad friend, the one you lend money to and never pays you back!
