Favorite Tracy Jordan Quotes
Can my friend Cheese go with us on our honeymoon?
Every crazy a-lister owns an island; Nicolas Cage, Celine Dion, Charles Widmore. This is a whole new world in front of me, LL.
[sees Liz in wedding dress] Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?
Liz: Your online romance prank was not funny. I fell in love with you!
Tracy: You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop.
Let's do it again from the top. I want to get it perfect, because perfection is my middle name. Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy.
I'm sorry I'm four hours late but my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cock fight last night.
Oh my God, Liz? It's Tracy...from work.
Liz: Your lizard cannot be the music guest on the show.
Tracy: Of course not! His album doesnt drop until December!
Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pin code?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I'll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s.
Oh check this out! My key to the city of Gary, Indiana. Mmmm, look at this! My gold record from my novelty party song. cut to "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" music video, Tracy singing] Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
Tracy
[to Kenneth] That's the whole thing, K-Fed. Why don't the Catholics not eat meat on Fridays? Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers!
Recently I realized I have a hole in my heart. And not the one I got from eating batteries.
