The sight of these people, plus the crayons I ate earlier, make me sick.

Jenna: I broke the number one rule of being on the force.
Tracy: Don't fall in love with your car?

You sound like a cop, and I should know, my uncle was a cop...in a porno.

It's just fan mail. I mean would you read a bunch of letters from people who look up to me?

Tracy: I'm gonna say to you what I say to all my sharks right before they die: Let's go outside.

How black was this dude...on a scale from Lisa Bonet, to Dot Com?

I won an Oscar so now I get to do real art...begin Snow Dogs phase!

Frank: Lutz just hit on Liz.
Tracy: Bout time. The last six years has been like watching Moonlighting.

Let's prepare for the adventure of a lifetime! And then after we watch Fievel Goes West, we're gonna get you some action.

If we don't make Adam happy his dad is gonna tell the IRS my house isn't a church. Although I do let children drink wine there.

Jenna: Adam's acting like us.
Tracy: But he is not famous. Why is the government allowing this?

Idiots aren't just strippers, or stay at home moms.

30 Rock Quotes

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Jack

Liz: Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?
Jack: Oh, what now?
Liz, yelling: I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!