Turtle Quotes
Did you get cock-blocked by Bob Saget?
Friends are girls you just haven't fucked yet. You know that
[referring to Turle's cold streak with getting laid]
Vince: Go easy on 'em, E, even A-Rod goes on a bad run sometimes.
Drama: Yeah, but even when A-Rod's slumping, he's still getting pussy.
[Eric laughs]
Turtle: Keep fucking laughing, E. You give me the manager title, I'll be overflowing in it.
I live three doors down from the cast of "America's Next Top Model" and I ain't getting laid? That's the worst cold streak ever.
Turtle: Vince is a born superstar and we will always have the money we need.
Ari: MC Hammer could've used a guy like you, Turtle, back in the day
Vince: Johnny Depp's got the kind of career I want.
Eric: Johnny Depp did Pirates of the Caribbean. And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.
Turtle: Yeah, but I heard he dresses like that in real life, though
Eric: I don't know what you guys are making such a big deal about. I've been to the mansion, it's not that great.
Turtle: You were at an afternoon fundraiser for Alzheimer's, E. I don't think that's what Mr. Hefner had in mind when he opened the joint.
Eric: Nah, I'm sure he was dreaming about your fat ass running around the place in pajamas
Turtle: You sat at Hugh Hefner's table?
Drama: Yeah, during the Melrose years.
Eric: Don't you mean the Melrose months Drama?
Drama: I had an Italian sports car in '94. They're a delight.
Turtle: You had a Fiat, Drama
Eric: Forget that girl. The only reason she was with me was because I'm your manager.
Turtle: So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve?
Drama: All of it?
Turtle: You got a smoking hot assistant!
Adam: (motions to Drama) And it's all because of this guy.
Drama: Really?
Adam: No, I'm kidding.
You know, you act like a priest for three months, the least a girl can do is service you.
