I appreciate that, Tony, but don't try to compete with my Schmeil.

One gets over a watch. You never get over a loved one.

Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".

Eli David: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.
Ziva David: Rodeo.

Ziva David: Never sweat where you eat.
Tim McGee: Wrong bodily function.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah but it's the right idea.

Tony: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need?
Ziva: Revenge.

Tony: It's weird doing this stuff without her [Abby] isn't it? It's like going to a puppet show, except all the puppets are just laying there on the stage. These dead puppets. Sorry.
Ziva: Why are you sorry?
Tony: It's ...
Ziva: My father dies and all of a sudden you cannot talk to me about dead puppets. I'm fine, Tony.

Ziva: All warehouses are the same.
Tony: Up there with old houses, churches and prisons. Gives me the willies.
Ziva: Is that the thing where people lick their fingers and them they put it in someone's ear?
Tony: That's a wet willy.

Ziva: DiNozzo, pull it together.
Tony: Kids. This is way above my pay grade. I spent the afternoon in a child care clinic when I almost lost my life.
Ziva: Stop stop stop stop. We're doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here, we need to be normal. Can you just please do that for a few hours?
Tony: Sure. Fine.
Ziva: Fine.
Tony: Only because you asked nicely.

Vance: I worry that the act of hiring a nanny means that I'm moving on. And if I'm moving on, I worry that Jackie's death will....it'll feel like...
Ziva: It's a bit more final?
Vance: [nods]
Ziva: Well then I suggest you take your time, Director. Hire a nanny or do not hire one. But do not let anyone tell you when you're ready or should be ready to move on. That is entirely up to you.
Vance: You may be on to something.
Ziva: I have some experience.
Vance: Yeah? Where were you a week and a half ago?

Vance: As long as we share this bond, David, promise me: when I come to offer my perspective concerning what it is you're "catching up" on, you'll be as forthcoming as I'm about to be?
Ziva: I promise I'll try.

Ziva: Looks like a symbol. But of what?
Abby: That could be all night finding that answer. You in?
Ziva: I'm sorry. Busy.
Abby: Right. "Stuff". I'll draft McGee.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?