Ian: I confronted Caleb about that chick. He's screwing her.
Lip: I guess there's something to be said for honesty. Right?
Ian: Except, he says he's not cheating.
Lip: How did he come up with that reasoning?
Ian: He says if it were a guy, then he'd be cheating.


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Everytime she pees on the stick it's bad news and then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom cause we selfishly wanna have a baby with some of our DNA.

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Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.