It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side. And he's like no, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them.

Dwight

Rating: 4.6 / 5.0 (11 Votes)
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Character:
Dwight Schrute
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 13: "Stress Relief"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Dwight Schrute Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.

Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley, Barack is president! You are BLACK, Stanley!

Michael