It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side. And he's like no, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them.

Dwight

Rating: 4.6 / 5.0 (10 Votes)
Character:
Dwight Schrute
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 13: "Stress Relief"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Dwight Schrute Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

You know sometimes, to get perspective, I like to think about a spaceman on a star incredibly far away. And, our problems don't matter to him, because we're just a distant point of light. But he feels sorry for me, because he has an incredibly powerful microscope, and he can see my face. I'm okay. No, I'm not.

Michael

Wallace: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy.
Dwight: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out, it's pretty realistic.
Wallace: We had to pay for it. It cost us thirty-five hundred dollars.
Michael: Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy? Okay. Look. This is why we have training. We start with the dummy and learn from our mistakes and now Dwight knows, not to cut the face off a real person.