Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you all these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about! Sex is for making babies and revenge.
Elliot: Well, you're so full of it.
Jordan: Listen, Stick, if you wanna wipe your nose and pretend that was a sneeze, I will play along. But if you have something to say, say it.
Elliot: Everybody knows you're still sleeping with Dr. Cox; and it can't be about making babies 'cause you'd probably just end up eating them, anyway. And as for revenge, I'm just not sure that driving to his apartment and pleasuring him while he watches sports on TV is hurting him as much as you might think. So I have to figure that you still care about him, whether you want to admit it or not. And if you lay one finger on me, I'm blowing my rape whistle

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Elliot Reid, Jordan Sullivan
Scrubs Season 1 Episode 24: "My Last Day"
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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 24 Quotes

Jordan: Hey, stud, thank you for not asking me to help out on the Mr. Bober thing.
Dr. Cox: I would've but, it would have been pointless. It turns out, you're a very predictable woman, there, Jordan.
Jordan: Puh-lease!
Dr. Cox: I know you. You're gonna walk into that board room tonight, all tall and strong, and then you're gonna sit back and just pray that nobody asks your opinion. I mean, I'm sure you-you probably think that your little visits here are a spontaneous surprise, but, did you ever wonder why the only two candles that I own are already lit when you walk in that door? I mean, doll, I hate to tell you this but, I don't walk around all day with cologne down in my engine room. I'm not that guy!
Jordan: Some people like reliability.
Dr. Cox: In a sedan, it turns out it's terrific

J.D.'s Narration: It's been a long year, but the important thing is we all got through it together. We were a family.
Jordan: Hey everyone.
J.D.: Oh, Ms. Sullivan, thank you for helping us with Mr. Bober.
Jordan: Oh, don't mention it! And even though I wasn't invited to your little party, I brought presents for everyone!
Dr. Cox: Brace yourself, there, newbie.
Jordan: Carla, my ex-husband is in love with you. It's true. Ask your boyfriend, he knows; he and Perry talk about it all the time. I don't know why you haven't mentioned this to her! Perhaps you're afraid of something? Huh. And Bob? When are you gonna tell Perry that that promotion you're making him jump through hoops for? was filled months ago! It just seems wrong. Which brings us to Twinkie. If you don't have the courage to tell your 'colleague' Dr. Dorian that you're still crazy about him, I'm gonna go ahead and do it for ya, 'cause that's what friends do. Yeah! And finally, Perry, you are not gonna believe what happened the first time I met your little protégé, here...
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, please God, no.
Jordan: I slept with him... and it was good - oh! How's that for stirring things up? Have a great summer, everyone. Bye!
J.D.'s Narration: Yep. One big, happy family