Michael: [on phone] NO! Oh, my God. Oh, No. That is so awful. That is the worst news. I have to go. I have to do a presentation. I'll talk to you... [hangs up] It is going to be hard for me to speak today. Because I just learned that my father has died... No, he didn't! He is alive. And this isn't even a cell phone. This is a calculator. But you bought it! And now you can't return it. Or can you? No you can't. [Karen raises her hand] Yes. Karen, do you need to go pump?
Karen: Not gonna have to do that, 'til after I have the baby.


Unrated
Character:
Michael Scott
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 14: "Lecture Circuit (Part 1)"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Michael Scott Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes

Julia: I can't accept these prices, Stanley. They just cut our budget.
Andy: Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes. So I put Splenda in yours. Let's see. How many did I put in there? [starts singing to the tune of Feist's "1-2-3-4"] One, Two, Three, Four Splenda's in your coffee, Stanley. None in yours, Julia, cause I don't know how you take it. But if you'd rather...
Stanley: Four Splenda. Are you crazy?
Andy: Well, No, I actually only put in two. But that's not how the song goes.

I am single now. What we have here, is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression. I intend to win.

Andy