Clerk [re: a book for Louie's daughter which he says she hasn't read yet]: Okay, give her this and tell her not to read it at night because it's too scary. The idea is that she will read it at night. It will be like a really wrongful thrill for her.

Louie Season 3 Episode 4: "Daddy's Girflriend (Part 1)"
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Louie Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

Like I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson. I don't know her. I never met her or saw her in person. But I just know. Come on. I just know that would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And the worst thing to ever happen to her. I don't even jerk off to her - that's how much I like her.


"You have to examine yourself once in a while, you can't just say, 'I voted for Obama, I can't be prejudice, it's impossible.'