Max: Yes, I'm her registered emotional companion.
Leo: Well, this is a legal proceeding and that's a highly unusual request.
Caroline: But not improbable. We googled it.
Max: Yeah, she's allowed to have an emotional companion as long as both attorneys agree.
Leo: Well, I graduated top of my class at Harvard. But, since you googled it, I'll try to make that happen.

Caroline: What's the point? Clearly, I've already lost the game of life, 'cause I'm sitting in a drug trial waiting for my "A" to "L."
Max: Well, if your "A" does start to "L," you're on the bottom bunk.

Max: Well, bottoms up.
Caroline: Max, don't say that after anal leakage.

Max: It'll be fun. Just think of it as a middle school sleepover.
Caroline: With Drugs
Max: Yeah, a middle school sleepover.

Anything I can do to help? I'm pretty courtroom savvy. I mean, I haven't seen every episode of 'Law & Order.' Just, like 400 of them.

Max

Max: Are you sure you didn't represent the woman who ate her child?
Leo: I've never represented anyone who ate their child ... on 'Law & Order.'

I was not talking hot. I was apologizing. She's still angry I left home. She thinks I'm freewheeling American who takes drugs and has intercourse with dirty Kardashians.

Han

2 Broke Girls Season 1 Episode 20 Quotes

Max: Are you sure you didn't represent the woman who ate her child?
Leo: I've never represented anyone who ate their child ... on 'Law & Order.'

I was not talking hot. I was apologizing. She's still angry I left home. She thinks I'm freewheeling American who takes drugs and has intercourse with dirty Kardashians.

Han