You two can talk about America all you want. But I'm not going to listen, because there's no i or me in America.

Jenna

What America needs it four more years of the stuff Obama's been doing. Like, umm, the one with the guy. It was at night, and I feel like he was standing next to a fence.

Liz

Like any penis, Florida is very complicated.

Tracy

Don't give up. That is not the Lisa Loeb I know.

Tracy (to Liz)

We have to spend all of our wonderful money and help my hair mentor Mitt Romney become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.

Jack

A room full of rich people can...change the world.

Jack

I needed to unite the room around a common enemy and Ed Begley Jr. wasn't available because the sail on his car broke.

Jack

I hope it's gay...male gay, because with the ladies it's too much hiking.

Liz

Reginald: Donaghy, still over at NBC with all those communists and homosexuals?
Jack: Reginald I believe you're thinking of the White House.

You look like that flash card they told me means sadness.

Jenna

Liz: Show him how funny women are.
Jenna: Are we though?

There are no bad ideas Lemon, only great ideas that go horribly wrong.

Jack