I played Avery Jessup in Kidnapped By Danger, now available on Sega Genesis.


She isn't a bitch. She's a meanie pants.


I'm greatest waiter of all time.

Kim Jong Il

Check out Kim Jong Un's pants. Where's the flood?

Jack (as Avery)

Did they say when the banquet is? Because I'm kind of between tuxes due to weight fluctuation.


What Bill O'Reilly erotic novel are you living in?


Oh, poor baby. Can't hack it in the big city? Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.


Hey, I don't bail. I am still watching Smash, Criss.


My outside is shiny and pretty, but my inside is filled with cardboard and horse glue.


She has the brain of a man, and the ass of a French teenager.


Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.


Are you crying 'cause there are no roles for actresses in their 40s?

Tracy (to Jenna)

30 Rock Season 6 Quotes

Jenna: How do nice people dress?
Tracy: Socks on their hands, no belt, roller skates.

I really like my guy. He's sort of a Doogie Howser type, but younger.